Female TF2 Concepts

For those who believe "More character, less boobs":

This one's really convincing:

Sick of tits?
For Selr/Dee/Mut and XsT gays:

Microsoft Word Feature Creep

All toolbars expanded, stacked. There's even a toolbar called "Japanese Greetings".

Meet the Scout!

Pangu has a brother?!

AND YOU THOUGHT PANGU THE SNIPER WAS GOOD?
WAIT TILL YOU MEET HIS BROTHER! - <3 Insanity

How to break up with your GF...

The blog's been quiet lately, so i've decided to let you guys know the kinda stuff people on WoW talk about. Got this conversation from my buddies. Enjoy~~

-denn

AVX885> i'm going to break up with my girlfriend, she is cheating on me
sprtzntm77> dude, this is perfect... ok heres what you do
sprtzntm77> dont mention this to her, and get in her pants one last time, make it really rough.
AVX 885> i like where this is going..
sprtzntm77> right, so.. *%%# her nice and rough-like and just before she is about to cum, pull out.
AVX 885> haha, go on
sprtzntm77> pull out and dont say a word. Go get your pants and put em back on, and say somthing along the lines of "i dont think our relationship is gonna work out, im breaking up with you. goodbye"
AVX 885> HAHA, nice!
sprtzntm77> so keep an emotionless face and dont respond to anything she says. While your putting on your socks, mutter somthing about forgetting to pick up your syphilis antibiotics. That'll really get her freaked out.
AVX 885> LMAO! This is golden, i have to pull this off..
sprtzntm77> dude.. before this all goes down.. i'll hide either under the bed or in the closet. While your on your way to the door, turn around and say, "hey mark, shes not gonna go for the DP, were leaving.. lets go." I'll get out from under the bed, look pissed off and follow you out the door.
AVX 885> this is golden.. haha and I could just imagine her sitting there spread eagle on the bed with the most awesome expression of shock and awe on her face. I should take a picture as im walking out the door and mail it to her parents.
sprtzntm77> *%%#, if we pull this off, it will be the best breakup scenario ever. She deserves it too.
AVX 885> Yes, this is a warning women everywhere.. dont cheat on me, for I will seek my sweet revenge.

The Road To Ubersaw

1. First Do No Harm: Play a full round without killing any enemies and score the highest on a team of 6 or more players.
2. Quadruple Bypass: Heal a teammate who's taking fire from 4 enemies at once.
3. Group Health: Work with 2 other medics to deploy 3 simultaneous uber-charges.
4. Surgical Prep: Have an uber-charge ready before the setup phase ends.
5. Trauma Queen: Deploy 3 uber-charges in less than 5 minutes, and assist in 5 kills during that time.
6. Double Blind Trial: Deploy an uber-charge within 8 seconds of a nearby enemy medic deploying his.
7. Play Doctor: In a team with no medics, be first to switch to medic after a teammate calls "Medic!" and then heal 500 health.
8. Triage: Deploy an uber-charge on a teammate less than a second before they're hit by a critical explosive.
9. Preventive Medicine: Block the enemy from capturing a control point with an uber-charged teammate.
10. Consultation: Assist a fellow medic in killing 5 enemies in a single life.
11. Does It Hurt When I Do This?: Kill 50 scouts with your syringe gun.
12. Peer Review: Kill 50 medics with your bone saw.
13. Big Pharma: Assist a heavy in killing 30 enemies where neither of you die.
14. You'll Feel A Little Prick: Assist in killing 4 enemies with single uber-charge on a scout.
15. Autoclave: Assist in burning 8 enemies with a single uber-charge on a pyro.
16. Blast Assist: Assist in exploding 5 enemies with a single uber-charge on a soldier.
17. Blunt Trauma: Assist in punching out 4 enemies with a single uber-charge on a heavy.
18. Medical Breakthrough: Assist in destroying 8 enemy engineer buildings with a single uber-charge on a Demoman.
19. Midwife Crisis: Heal an engineer as he repairs his sentry while it's under enemy fire.
20. Ubi Concordia, IBI Victoria: Assist in killing 5 enemies on an enemy control point, in a single life.
21. Grand Rounds: Heal 200 teammates after they've called for "Medic!"
22. Infernal Medicine: Extinguish 100 burning teammates.
23. Doctor Assisted Homicide: Assist in killing 20 nemesis.
24. Placebo Effect: Kill 5 enemies in a single life while having your uber-charge ready, but undeployed.
25. Sawbones: Hit enemies with your bonesaw 10 times in a row without dying or missing.
26. Intern: Accumulate 7000 heal points in a single life.
27. Specialist: Accumulate 10000 heal points health in a single life.
28. Chief of Staff: Accumulate 10 million total heal points.
29. Hypocritical Oath: Kill an enemy spy that you have been healing.
30. Medical Prevention: Save a falling teammate from dying on impact.
31. Second Opinion: Uber-Charge 2 teammates at once.
32. Autopsy Report: Provide an enemy with a freezecam shot of you taunting above their ragdoll.
33. FYI I Am A Medic: Use your bonesaw to kill 5 enemy spies who have been calling for "Medic!"
34. Family Practice: Uber-charge ten of your steam community friends.
35. House Call: Join a game that one of your friends is in and then deploy and uber-charge on him.
36. Bedside Manner: Be healing a teammate as he achieves an achievement of his own

Super Engineer Bonus

"We noticed in last night's game that Valve is also tinkering with upgrades for the Engineering class. While it's not concrete that these additions will go into the game's next Medic-friendly update, Valve is nevertheless looking at adding upgrade options for the Engineer's teleporter and dispenser. The former, when upgraded to Level 3, would reduce teleport recharge times from ten seconds to three. And a fully upgraded dispenser would heal all around it just slightly slower than a Medic." -- Extract from MaximumPC, read more.

"Warcry" Avatar Series, Awards and Xeon 400

Pure dedication or pure insanity, you decide. Our raging resident rocketeering soldier Xeon has recently acquired 400 hours of pure explosive action on his class. I caught up with the lad at his 399th hour to chat with him about his zealous commitment to his class and the experience he's had since the dawn of TF2 in the local scene.

Psycho_Rabbit-|XsT|:
When did you first start playing? And how has the game changed since then?

Xeon-|XsT|:
When orange box was first released for download on steam, I got the game and created a server for myself to get use to the weapons and maps. The game has changed a lot, like how I lost my stock of 36 rockets (which really isn't a big issue now). In technical terms, the game still crashes in new ways on my com. One time I was having a killing streak and my TF2 client crashed and after I went back in my graphics was a mess.

Psycho_Rabbit-|XsT|:
Ewww graphics issues. Have you seen any changes in your own style over this time though?

Xeon-|XsT|:
I guess you could say I've changed my style close to 5 times since I started counting my hours. Lately I combined all these styles together and went back to the old monkey days with 36 rockets – but with 16 now *sadface*.

Psycho_Rabbit-|XsT|:
You often state that cake is superior to pie. Why and which do you honestly prefer?

Xeon-|XsT|:
I don't really know which pie you guys often refer to but I like cake simply because I like Portal, so I like cakes. But the cake is a lie.

Psycho_Rabbit-|XsT|:
Well, I like both. You have been called hacker, cheater and exploiter among other names, how do you respond?

Xeon-|XsT|:
I don't mind being called a hacker or a cheater. It might be someone's way of saying, "Oh damn he's good or he can do things I can't" But of course in some games I've played, I got banned from the servers after simply being accused of hacking. As for exploits, I admit, I used to exploit at the gates at Dustbowl. Yeah I know, my bad, but it certainly was fun, I don't really do it anymore though - maybe I'll do it to kill those who are doing it lol.

Psycho_Rabbit-|XsT|:
Keep the aggro in check dude. So medics often tag along with you, who's your favorite medic and why?

Xeon-|XsT|:
Well my favorite medic would be Selr, she did medic me for quite awhile and always tries to stick with me. Although now I don't know why she prefers to heal other people and neglect me in the crowd nowadays. I'm cool with it though.

Psycho_Rabbit-|XsT|:
Okay, you're getting less heals from me bitch. Anyway, what hopes and aspirations do you have in the near future in-game?

Xeon-|XsT|:
If I do have the time after my army, I will consider joining tournaments. Will have to see what games are available in WCG then though. I want to go against others to try and achieve something.

Psycho_Rabbit-|XsT|:
I'm sure we'll all support you on that, keep the XsT standards high and that attitude in check.

Because we feel like it, it's awards time again! For Xeon's hours and contributions, we're awarding him SOLOIST. Not to be forgotten is Rat. Although not as aggressive as Xeon, Rat's contributions to XsT have been exceptional in the areas of defence. He's saved our cap more times than we can count. Rat, we're happy to present you with an M.I.R.V for Stronghold Defences.


We're also proudly presenting 4 new awards to our 4 combat units. The AIRBORNE award recognises distinction in Rocket-Jumping and Pipe-Jumping. We're proud to present Xeon, Rat, Feanor and Duece, our soldiers and demoman, the badges of Jump Confidence. We're are confident that you'll continue with the same precision and success of jumps to vital points and installations in the future ahead.


Lastly, we're rolling out the third series of XsT avatar icons. Codenamed "Warcry" these were originally inspired by Xeon's suggestion of a black alphabet on a red backing. We're also taking suggestions for the next set of avatars. If you've got a suggestion on what you'd like to see as our next set of avatars, let the admins know!


If you haven't received your new avatar, send a private message to Truman or myself to get yours. Seeya in the servers.

HOT: Medic Unlockables Revealed!

Article extracted from Shacknews.

Developer Valve released the final details on its upcoming Team Fortress 2 content update during a party tonight in downtown San Francisco.

In addition to the known crit-increasing gun "The Critzcrieg," the remaining two unlockable medic weapons were also available for hands-on time. Dubbed "The Blutsaugher" and "The Ubersaw," they will serve as replacements for the medic's standard syringe and bonesaw, respectively. The weapons will be earned through a new achievement system, and equipped through a loadout menu.

Below you can check out Valve's official descriptions for the weapons. Stay tuned for impressions of the new content--including the fantastic Goldrush map--as well as an interview with Valve's Robin Walker.

The Blutsaugher
For players that earn one third of the 36 new medic achievements, they will be given a new syringe gun. Called "The Blutsaugher," this new weapon no longer has the ability to score critical hits against an opponent. Instead it will draw health from enemies each time a syringe hits. Especially useful as a weapon to retreat away from the fight while staying alive.

The Critzcrieg
Once a medic has earned two thirds of the achievements, they will be granted "The Critzcrieg." This new medigun uses its ubercharge not for invulnerability, but to give its recipient 100% chance to fire critical ordinance. Medics and the player they are charging need to be careful though, because as much fun as it is to fire critical rockets as fast as you can, the other team will see what you're up to and try to put a quick stop to your plan.

The Ubersaw
For the determined medic that has earned all 36 of the new achievements, they will find themselves the proud owner of "The Ubersaw," which will take damage done in melee attacks and convert it directly to ubercharge. Four hits with this new weapon will fully charge whatever medigun the medic has equpped.

A Team Fortress 2 Western

The machinima guys are at it again. This one is damn well done, complete with voice acting and inside jokes. Cool spies. Must see.

Part 1 of 2


Part 2 of 2

The Red Phone

So yeah, the whole speculation of what Glados might or might not be has made me want to find out more. I decided to play the a few stages of Portal again with developer commentary and see if I could fish out more stuff to form a better picture.

It's 3.25am now and here I am rambling on about Portal.

The above screenie was taken in the boss room, where you actually fight Glados. Here, you find a red phone, lines cut (as with all phones in the half-life universe). Looking at this from a cold war perspective, it brings to mind the film 1964 film Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb. The film was about a rogue unit in the US armed forces, isolating itself and fabricating an attack from the Soviets - very cold waresque. In the film, this rogue unit, convinced the entire US government that it was being threatened and it must retaliate. Of course, to the unaware Soviets, this actually seemed like the US was making the first move. There are plenty of other movies/games that people in power pick up red phones to make The Call, but this is a classic scenario of a rogue unit creating information blackout.

How this relates to Glados is perhaps seen in a supercomputer gaining sentience and the inability for its creators to control it. Perhaps, what initially began as an artificial intelligence simulation, eventually developed itself and learnt self-awareness. Self awareness would perhaps suggest that Glados began asking herself questions and eventually gain control over her personality. The way I see it is that Glados didn't develop her own character. In fact, by all the modules attached to her which determines her mood, I'd go as far as to say, her characters were developed for her (you know the little orbs attached to her) but once she gained consciousness, she actually chose who she wanted to be. She developed choice.

In a way, this makes sense to why Glados is speculated to have been "trapped". As Mut asked in the shoutbox, "who trapped her?" It's probably safe to speculate that it's Aperture Science of course. Remember, Aperture Science and Black Mesa are/were competing laboratories and an operating system such as Glados would have to have been sealed off from civilization in complete isolation and secrecy. Glados, would not have known anything apart from the confines of her facility.

Other commentary that has led me to believe that Glados chose her own path is the comments given by the voice behind Glados. Ellen Mclaine, the voice, comments that when she was doing the recording for Glados, the producers often cued her to have tonality in her voice. Glados was sarcastic, angry, desperate and sometimes even sad. Mostly negative emotions from what I see. That's probably how she decided to govern Chell (you), play god of her own little world. How would you feel if you were all locked up and left with nothing but Lego or PlayDoh? You'd be talking to your creations too balls.

I'm guessing you'll feel powerful and satisfied when you can determine the life and death of your underlings. To find betterment in yourself, make it seem like you can advance in some way since all you have known is what people have told you within your confines. In a way, You'd probably want to create and share your thoughts through governance. But then, eventually, your creations dig deeper and begin to ask questions will see things differently. As a developer commented in-game, after escaping from the fires in Room 19, Chell starts to get a feel of what it is behind the scenes, it feels like you're cheating the system.

Cheating the system sentient computers and stuff, this brings to mind The Matrix and to some degree, I-Robot. It isn't a new concept, but certainly an interesting one. With regard to the bondage girl, the very last developer commentary in-game points out the development process of Glados' appearance. It was mentioned that some of the early ideas for Glados was a giant brain with wires hooked up and an upside down "Venus" depicted by Sandro Botticelli in the 1480ish painting, "Birth of Venus". I'm somehow guessing they went for both options and stylised it up alittle.

But yeah, if Botticelli's Venus was referenced, then that opens a whole new can of worms. One major reference is the enclosure Glados is in amongst all those TV screens and wires, and how that relates to the sea-shell in Birth of Venus. If my first year art history knowledge serves me correctly, sea shells in classical art often refer to a woman's genitalia. So the way the TV screens and all fan out with the wires could be seen as portraying Glados in a comfortable spot, naked and bare. The curves all over Aperture Science machinery and assets also suggest that there has been some more delicate and female influence. And then there's the cake, perhaps a minor sexist reference that the cake is "home baked" by a motherly figure. But I'd like to look at it from another angle. Notice how the Aperture Science test lab is polished, spotless and sparkling from the front, yet it's rusty, raw and unkempt with toxic juices flowing backstage? Could this perhaps be the "cake" as in make-up that is commonly associated with covering up flaws to look beautiful on the surface? Just a thought (Mut don't kill me for this, please).

Anyway, that's my take on Glados so far.

The Suffering of GLaDOS

I was about to go sleep after we signed out from the servers last night but I thought I'd just check out planethalflife and see if they had any updates on the TF2 patch, map or unlockables. However, I found something much more interesting (and in some ways, more disturbing).

There's a feature on GLaDOS, the badass computer system from Portal. I know a couple of you are into art, literature and philosophy, so I'd really like to give you this link here on the observations of GLaDOS. It's kinda scary when I thought about it, I shuddered as I read it and I'll never look at Portal the same way again.


Much of the analysis looks at the fembot as a tormented Venus, placing analysis on her choice of sarcasm in speech to deduce her character. I'm still digesting the concepts behind these observations and I'll surely be playing Portal again soon to hear/see it for myself.


Knock yourself out. More links and full feature on planethalflife here.

Spiddy's Vetet Undergrod

So Mut and I hit Zouk last night for a trance night out with Andy Moor. We give [ICP]Ace a ring knowing he'd be there too (damn trance addict). After meeting up, we then decide to check up on Spiddy who also happened to be at Zouk last night.


Spiddy, we seriously hope you're okay. Call us please.

Disclaimer: This post may be removed upon request.

Wall of Fame

We still haven't decided what to do with our web server. 2 months ago, we tried hosting the map pack for everyone to download - but that failed because we got hacked and lost our bandwidth that month. So I thought, hell, since we haven't found a use yet, I'll just convert it to a wall of fame first for all the awards.

Yes, this means we weren't joking when we gave out the awards sometime back. Yes, this also means we'll be giving out more soon. Yes, the wall graphic used in the image is actually, my own wall. No, I didn't etch the laurels into my wall. No, this isn't what we're permanently going to be using the domain for.

If anyone has a bright idea (no, not pr0n) for what we can do for the domain (no, we're not hosting videos and music). Do message Spiddy, Trum, Xeon or myself and we'll go from there. For now, enjoy the XsT Wall of Fame!

Edit: If your com and screen resolution is like Truman's and you love big pixels, this will NOT show up correctly. I haven't had time to do any fancy scripting for dynamic resizing. Bear with me.

Have Cake, Will Graduate

The first step towards public humiliation.

Top Secret Scrim Tactics

April Fools: Here Have an Award

Early reports indicate that several of our members were already receiving invitations to join other clans. Apparently some of you boobs wanted to go off and start your own clan - oddly enough named after certain fowl game and poultry.

Yes, it was a damn joke. Yes, it was Sick's idea. I heard from my bro that a couple of XsTs actually believed it to be real - for this I apologise. To the rest of you, thanks for playing along and extending the punking not only onto ourselves but the collective collateral punkin' we brought down on the community. LOL.

Okay, moving on. We would like to take this opportunity to hand out some awards again. As you guys already know, every now and then (when we feel like it), we hand out awards to players who have performed exceptionally well.

This round of awards goes to Xeon, Duece, Mut and Ville. Congrats to Xeon for the first double-crown M.I.R.V. award in rocketeering - racking up 350 hours on soldier and counting. Duece, awarded for demolitions and exemplar collateral damage, along with persistent rigging of key installations. Ville, for the precision elimination of opponents, he's pulled off some amazing shots lately - respect.

As for Mut, we're awarding her a second S.P.I.E. award and a crown in Foreign Agency Recognition for being invited to The Gentlemen's Club, in the company of the elusive Mr. Tickle and Mr. Gentle. Kudos.

Three more awards going out to !? (Q), Spiddy and our rather fascist regimental sergeant major, Truman. Q's asked that he sits out from some games and Good Teams as he's made plans elsewhere - big shoutout to Q for always being siao onz when there's a match or whatever to come and join in our ranks. Our ol' boy Spiddy deserves an award too for filling in for everyone and anyone when we so often lack a class for a game. Most notably, Spiddy's been an engineer, heavy and medic in our most desperate moments, for this we commend you. Both Q and Spiddy have been awarded the Laurels of HONOUR.

Last but never the least, Truman, the one and only mother of all control freaks. For all the times you're calmly disseminating orders to the times when you're screaming over voicechat, making everyone panic - for this we thank you and award you the Laurel of LEADERSHIP.

XsT is also extending an award to ICP, our TFC oldbie brothers in arms. A huge thank you for Making Good Teams with us. We're looking forward to more Good Teamings! Here's a Laurel of CAMARADERIE for our near-nightly games.

We're also extending a special mention to CM1 for their perseverance in the recent games we've had together. Against the odds of high-ping, power failures, hardware defects and all sorts of random delays, you guys pressed on and earned our utmost respect for your outstanding sportsmanship. We truly say "gg" to you guys and award you the Laurel of PERSEVERANCE.

Administration wise, we're pleased to introduce our new medic, Bling. He's playing TF2 with 512MB of RAM. Anyone wishing to contribute a stick of RAM can do so by sending a private message to any of the admins, who will then arrange the necessary transaction. Welcome aboard.

That's about it for now. I heard from some very reliable sources that ASSIE called Hozay at 3 in the morning to tell him that XsT disbanded. To Hoz, we're truly sorry for the inconvenience we've caused by disrupting your beauty sleep. To ASSIE we respect your dedication to the Good Team consortium but, "LOL NOOB YOU JUST GOT PUNKED HAHA." Whatever, we love you both long long.


Edit from Sick-|XsT|:
"Even if we consistently lose to team of 10yr kids with only 1 hand (3 fingers on that hand), 90% blind in both eyes, suffer from parkinsons and just installed TF2 30 seconds ago, we don't give a shit! Team XsT is family. And that means no one gets left behind*."

*Except when its April Fools.